Creating and Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Relationships take effort to build and maintain. We’ve asked for advice on how to best build and maintain relationships, and here’s what we’ve got…
(I’ve included all entries here. If there are duplicates, they’ve been intentionally included to echo that others also believe these pointers are important.)
Photography by Stokpic
Communication is key!
Patience & humor
Compromise
Listen
Prayers
Travel and be somewhere where you both haven’t been to explore together and learn more about each other.
Personal space from time to time. Sometimes ya just need a little time alone and away from each other. We’re not talking about days or weeks— just a few hours here and there once a week or so.
Be yourself and clearly state your separate expectations, to try to come up with a way/path that suits the team (couple).
One joint bank account AND each person has their own bank account.
Honest communication, support, understanding, respect.
When criticizing or arguing about whatever, avoid using "You always..." and "You never....". Don't generalize. Simply let the person know how whatever action they do, makes you feel or affects you and that's it, drop it. You can't force someone to change. If they love you, and understand how it affects you, they can decide to change their behavior if they want to.
Never go to bed angry at one another.
Good sex
Flexibility and adaptability mindset, for choices, chores and sex
Love and light.
When the convo is serious, walk-n-talk.
Be Understanding and willing to compromise
Be positive. Be generous. Give of your time. When you are needed, even if unasked, show up.
Authenticity, speaking your truth respectfully, remembering to lead with your heart, not taking things personally, sharing the limelight.
Be honest and kind— but also set, communicate, and respect healthy boundaries.
Remember The Four Agreements and practice them.
Communicate, communicate!
Communication and honesty
Trust
Communication
Keep your ego in check
Honesty
Give and take
Communication, trust, respect, honesty, compromise!!! Be understanding and patient. Support one another. Be yourself. Teamwork. Give each other a little personal space or a day or a few hours once in a while.
Respect
Use the phrase "we are partners" (and mean it, of course)
Know and accept that there will be high highs, and low lows. It boils down to commitment to each other.
Allow people to be themselves; don't try to fit them into your idea of them. And do the same for yourself.
Self-love comes first!
Don’t be afraid, embrace it. Life is not that serious, life ends too soon, that keeps everything that is important in perspective. Once that is done, everything else is easier: expression, communication, do’s don’t, loving completely. But that fear to trust, to trust that you have found the right one, to trust that you are enough exactly how you are. That is hard and scary...
Understand that you don't always know what assumptions you are making.
Forgiveness. We will make mistakes. Some are more hurtful than others. But a strong relationship happens without understanding that imperfect people do imperfect things.
Be insistent on having date nights. Communication, learn to be honest and direct with what you want, need, and like. Alone time for both as well as with “your” and “our” friends. Trust. Be encouraging. Ask how was your day even if it was horrible. You’re partners. Everything doesn’t require a fight or argument.
Remember to live for yourself and not solely for the other. Wipe off the webs of your passions and go for them! Supporting each other through it would build upon your strength, happiness, and respect for one another.
Do not look to others for validation.
Be authentic.
Explore, uncover, unpack your family of origin story, in your own individual therapy. Know about, and own, your shit. Then find a partner who has also done the same work or at least is open to understanding and owning their emotions. You have to know what is your, theirs, and of generations.
Authenticity and sincerity
Communication
Do fun activities (other than sex) together ie exercise, dance, travel. Never stop dating. If married, have a purpose driven marriage and live every day to fulfill that purpose. It will give your partnership a deeper meaning that with glue the relationship together, even in tough times. Respect one another. Make a decision to love one another, no matter what. Respect each other's views. Don't attempt control anyone. Be each other's best friends. Protect each other.
We need to learn how to love, respect, value, take care ourselves, if we don’t practice with ourselves how we gonna give love, respect, values if we don’t practice with ourselves, Any type of relationship is between two ppl, it’s about supporting each other so we have to give the 50% an the other person the other 50% ... equality is the key!
“The 36 Questions That Lead to Love” is a wonderful tool for building a personal relationship with anybody.
Road trips!
Communication is important, but I think adding a layer of mindfulness + intention to show up to the relationship (family, romantic partner + friends alike) as your most authentic self (not carte blanche to be an outspoken jerk) ... is key. Practicing mindfulness is known to increase empathy, compassion, understanding + helps you to be less judgemental about someone you're in a relationship with. Mindfulness also helps you to be more grounded, which helps with self-esteem + ensuring that you're in the right kind of relationship - seeing things as they really are. Bottom line - it takes WORK. <3
Consistency
Be more open. Accept no one is perfect, including yourself. Learn where the line is between you and the other person and take time to get to know each other, and understand the line does move. (Respect their boundaries and background, and take time and have good quality conversations to learn about the other individual.)
Learn to listen.
Respect. If you respect and value your partner, the rest will come with it.
Appreciate everything and expect nothing.
Realize that all relationships are based on love, even casual relationships like most of those made in the workplace. Love is about freedom. It is about the freedom to choose. Love is about being able to stay or go at any time, but choosing to stay. That choice is made every day, hour, minutes, second... Sadly, many religions and even society places false constraints on love teaching us that love is a commitment of bondage you enter into where the lock is locked and the key is thrown away. Those teachings of what love is, tarnishes many relationships. Relationships are based on love. Love is freedom.)
